Tapping Red & Green

Choose

‘Choose you this day whom ye will serve.’ It is a deliberate calculation, not something into which you drift easily; and everything else is in abeyance until you decide. The proposition is between you and God; do not confer with flesh and blood about it. “  -Oswald Chambers

I have been learning more and more about the many ways that God speaks.  Instead of analyzing and picking apart a particular inclination or conviction that I have, I will allow myself to gaze into the reality that this is how the Holy Spirit speaks and he is leading me.  HE is speaking his truth into my mind.  That sheer excitement propels me to choose life even though every fiber in my sinful being cries out to choose the world.  Even though I can think of a million ways to argue against this choice and that I am probably just being too extreme.  (That is not common sense kicking in, that is spiritual warfare :)  Obey and he will reveal himself.  It is simple.  “Choose  you THIS day”… He reacts to us differently when he sees that we are his THIS day instead of maybe tomorrow or the next.  He reacts by revelation, confirmation, peace, joy, love, and intimacy.  What motivates us to truly obey him out of love?  Knowing that it is not up to us.  Knowing that our salvation does not rest on our ability to offer him our perfect obedience.  Knowing that we have a God who loves us too much to leave us the way that we are.  Also, knowing that he loves his children so much that he wants all of them… their hearts, minds, wills, obedience… all to pour out his mercy, love, and goodness into their lives.  Wow.

Tim Keller says:
“It is only when you see the desire to be your own Savior and Lord -lying beneath both your sins and your moral goodness- that you are on the verge of understanding the gospel and becoming a Christian indeed.  When you realize that the antidote to being bad is not just being good, you are on the brink.  If you follow through, it will change everything: how you relate to God, self, others, the world, your work, your sins, your virtue.  It’s called the new birth because it’s so radical. (p. 78) Jesus Christ, who had all the power in the world, saw us enslaved by the very things we thought would free us.  So he emptied himself of his glory and became a servant.  He laid aside the infinities and immensities of his being and, at the cost of his life, paid the debt for our sins, purchasing us the only place our hearts can rest, in his Father’s house…  Knowing this will transform us from the inside out… Why wouldn’t you want to offer yourself to someone like this? Selfless love destroys the mistrust in our hearts toward God that makes us either younger brothers or elder brothers… We will never stop being younger brothers of elder brothers until we acknowledge our need, rest by faith, and gaze in wonder at the work of our true elder brother, Jesus Christ. (p. 87-89 The Prodigal God) (ht: RelentlessGrace, “Our hearts are transformed by service, not power”)”

Bring on the Trouble

“It takes a tremendous amount of discipline to live the noble life of a disciple of Jesus in actual things.” Oswald Chambers

So true.  When we have extirpated ourselves from our comfort zone and have traveled across the world to find ourselves immersed in all things foreign, difficulties and trials are expected.  It is much easier to constantly draw on His power while tackling  difficulties when we experience those difficulties while outside of our control zone,  We are prepared.

Then we come back to our normal existence.  Our situations are perfectly orchestrated in the way we find that is most comfortable.  Therefore, if anything is off kilter or difficult, something is wrong with our picture!  We tighten our grip on the control stick of our lives in order to get everything under control (ourselves) so that we can then rest in him once more.

No.  That clinging that happens overseas or in any situation where we find ourselves in a foreign place for a lengthy amount of time, should happen here.  That should happen in our offices and in our households and in our churches.  Bring on the difficulties, Lord.  We will tackle them like warriors, drawing on your power for the battle.  If I find myself rattled by my own difficulties, this is indicative of something being wrong with my life.  It melts my heart that he knows exactly how to use specific situations to draw me to himself.  He will teach us to cling to him.  Oh the sweet truth that He will not allow any child of his to be still until they are completely resting in his power, his love, and his peace.  He will convict and push and prod until we let go :)

When I let go, I find that it is actually sweet (delightful even) to walk with him through hard and dark places.  How can it be?  Such peace and joy CAN be relished even during trials.  Especially during trials.

“the Christian God came to earth to deliberately put himself on the hook of human suffering.  In Jesus Christ, God experienced the greatest depths of pain.  Therefore, though Christianity does not provide the reason for each experience of pain, it provides deep resources for actually facing suffering with hope and courage rather than bitterness and despair.”   Tim Keller

Philippians 4:4-7 
“Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again:  Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)

The wonderful Oswald of the day

Shut'n de do'

He will satisfy.  When I snap out of my “He-will-satisfy” amnesia, and get rid of the thing that hurts to leave behind, he proves (once again) that he can satisfy.  He will satisfy to the degree that the old lover of mine pales in comparison to the new intimacy with God which has now filled that void.  “Why don’t I feel close to God?”  “Why is he not revealing himself to me in a real way?”  Have I laid down the rights to myself?  If not, I have not truly come to him for life.  We tend to make it more complicated than it is.  If I am unsure… it is because I am holding back.  When I can see him, I have truly come with empty hands saying “Here is my life, do with it what you will.”  God is not a God of chaos and confusion but of order and clarity.

That thing that you struggle with but can’t seem to remove….  Crucify it and lay the thing down at his feet.  He speaks so clearly through our struggles.  The holy spirit works by speaking to our minds and hearts.  What you know (but sometimes rationalize) about your sin… that is his voice speaking.  I

I am learning more and more about how he speaks every day, as I struggle with letting go even when I know the sweetness that awaits me once I do.  We have got to replace it with Him.  Otherwise, there will be no healing in that place.

“The only way to dispossess the heart of an old affection is by the expulsive power of a new one…” Thomas Chalmers

Can’t give the devil that ‘ole easy foothold.  This reminds me of a familiar song… http://clemandsal.blogspot.com/2009/06/keep-out-de-devil.html

Morning thoughts inspired by this fabulous Oswald

full

How do we hand over everything, every relationship to him?  To identify with his interest in others before our own?  By being SURE of his spirit within us.  How are we sure of his spirit within us?

While in Africa, I had been witnessing amazing things and was overwhelmed at the Mamelodi people’s unwavering faith. Their understanding of the Holy Spirit challenged my own.  They had welcomed him in to every unresponsive place in their hearts and he had taken fire there.  They were illuminated.  Their speech as well as their thoughts were saturated in Scripture.  One girl named Babongile (who had been a Christian for only a few years) asked my friend Bev how long she had been a believer.  Bev told her “16 years”.  After the initial shock subsided andBabongile regained the ability to speak, she responded with “Do you mean that you have known Jesus for 16 years!?!???”

Do I understand his kingdom and know him in the intimate way that Babongile has come to know after only 2 years through complete abandonment to Jesus?  Does he reveal himself in special ways to those who abandon completely?  Yes he does.  If I am riddled with doubts and frustration, could the fact that I still cling to particular things for security be a reason why he is holding back an outpouring of his presence, peace, and assurance?  Yes!

One morning, I woke up (in Africa) with the agonizing heaviness of doubt and frustration.  I felt passed over, a vessel desperate to be filled with the Holy Spirit in the way that they were.  I realized that my prayers had been so vague.  How could I expect him to work specifically if I was not praying specifically?

I was whiny in prayer that morning.  I asked for the Lord to wow me with a direct answer to a direct question and for him to do it THAT night.  I asked for him to send me an answer in the form of a conversation regarding the holy spirit issue.  I was praying for him to place it on somebody’s heart (from our group) to speak to my questions about how the Holy Spirit works and how I could experience that fullness, without my prodding.  That very evening, an amazing woman stood beside me at the fire (while we were grilling) and began speaking about how she had recently experienced such frustration and sorrow, feeling “passed over” by the Holy Spirit.  She told me that we are vessels who are made to be emptied and filled.  We cannot be filled if we are not ready to recieve.  Why would he pour into a life that is not welcoming his presence by saying “Lord, in response to what you have done for me, here I am… take my life!” When she realized that it was because her heart was not “ready to receive”, she let go, abandoning to him everything that she was holding back.  Wham, she had an experience so precious that it would be inappropriate to write about without her consent.  Side note:  I had never had a conversation with her before this.

I have since learned that same lesson.  I know what it is like for him to pour out his spirit once I give in and let go.  (It is amazing that we still have amnesia… we’re so very human.  Its a good thing that he knew ALL that we were capable of and died for us anyway :)  I also find that it moves me to know that this is what he desires!  My whole heart, mind, strength…

My life!

When I abandon, he can pour out his sweet presence into my life, an empty vessel….

“Whenever the Holy Ghost sees a chance of glorifying Jesus, He will take your heart, your nerves, your whole personality, and simply make you blaze and glow with devotion to Jesus Christ.” OC

Bring on the fire

How amazing it is the all of our good things, treasures, and pleasures are only temporary.  The only thing that we can have or experience which will be taken into eternity are the refining work of the holy spirit in our lives.  When we let go completely and allow him to work, he will.  Those changes connect us to eternity.  The growth (becoming more and more like him) is a concomitant of his work in our lives once we release that control.  That work is the only thing that we will carry into eternity!  If I marinate at the gym in preparation for an upcoming triathlon, I may be making deliberate changes to my body so that I can successfully run a race.  However, those changes will not last.  I can dive into the study of geology so that I will not be fooled into buying an ersatz representation of a Tanzanite when I finally make the trek to Tanzania.  That knowledge will not last.  Only becoming more and more like our Lord… the refining work of the Holy Spirit in our lives… only that will last. 

Let’s go to him with empty hands.  What is he prodding me to let go of?  I know exactly what those things are.  I’m jumping!

Loved the Osy this morning

Givin em somethin I can fe-eel....

Today I am changing the song lyrics “Givin him somethin he can fe-eel” to “Givin HIM something I can feel”. 
I tend to offer him control over only the particular areas of my life which I can hand over without feeling any pain from the removal.  We often give to the degree that we
are still comfortable, feeling no pain :)
I recently sleighed a thing in my life and left it at his feet.  The excruciating experience of loss felt like extirpating a nerve.  However,
he rushes in (every time) and reconstructs that sore, wounded place.  He gives me new eyes and brings me to my knees upon reflection.  “How could I have
been so blindly controlled by that thing!?” 

When I cry out “Lord SPEAK!  I need to hear from you now!”  I give ‘em somethin I can feel.  Bam, he shows up.  My heart would melt every time that my children
proved that they loved me that much. 

Oh to “recklessly abandon”…
The expulsive power of the right and TRUE affection!

Read the Osy from this morning…

The fight

Osy was so awesome today.

The key to completely “recklessly” abandoning to him is sleighing the things/idols that hinder our walk.  Satan would have us thinking “Oh I am being too extreme.  This does not REALLY need to be cut out…”  Oh no.  By hanging on, we are simply prolonging the deep peace and joy that the Lord will pour out into our lives once we hear that call and jump.  Why do I trust him to catch me once I do?  Because he has orchestrated the entire thing for my good.  He knows, somehow, that I will be better, stronger, and more closely bound to him for having battled and vanquished the thing.

“God is not a passive observer in our lives while sinners and Satan beat us up. He rules over sinners and Satan, and they unwittingly, and with no less fault or guilt, fulfill his wise and loving purposes of discipline in our lives.   God is not coming to his children late after the attack, and saying, “I can make this turn for good.” That is not discipline. That is repair. It’s the difference between the surgeon who plans the incision for our good, and the emergency room doctor who sews us up after a freak accident. This text says, God is the doctor planning our surgery, not the doctor repairing our lacerations.” – John Piper

Love is action, love is discipline.  We must constantly lay down our lives.  Bob Flayhart from Oak Mountain says that the spiritual life is like a 3 step waltz.  Repent, believe, fight… repent, believe, fight… over and over again, trusting him all the while.   Abandoning our control to him every morning (every hour). 
To believe that once we repent then believe, there will be no fight… there will be no laying down our idols… is like saying I want to plant a beautiful garden on Saturday and then never enjoy getting my hands dirty… the battle is exciting.  Spiritual warfare is so real.  My friend was telling me of his dog named Skeeter who chases chipmunks daily with the same intensity no matter how many times he fails to catch one.  Lucky for the little guys, they have “a myriad of holes” into which they can scamper when this dangerous beast of a merciless “Skeeter” threatens their lives again and again :)  ‘Ole Skeeter would loose interest if he came out of the door every single morning to find a bunch of little chipmunk paperweights just lying still :)

I was thinking of how Skeeter may not catch them but has most probably learned some things through trial and error which allow him to get closer and closer to the goal: A nice yummy chipmunk dinner.

So often I find myself thinking…
“Here I am again Lord, stuck in this cyclical thing revisiting the same struggles.  I know what I did wrong this time, I will do better next time, yada yada yada…”  As Tim K says… “shut up spiritually! just shut up!”
He has orchestrated a perfect plan to discipline and sharpen.  That plan is not some cyclical process but an upward spiral. 

I grew up absolutely horse CUUURAZZZYY.  I used to jump.  In eventing (jumping an outside course with rougher terrain) or show jumping, the judges score the horse and rider on the basis of the grace and fluidity with which they complete the course, and whether or not they complete the course all the way through without missing a hurdle/jump.  If a horse balks (stops short and scoots around it) at a jump, the rider can’t continue the course until he conquers that jump.  He has to turn back around, as embarrassing as it is, and go over that jump.  I always loved the challenge of that though.  What an analogy.  That horse is brought back to the very place where it was weak, time and time again until he understands how he can conquer it.  He continues to bring me back to places where I am weak until I sleigh the idol and leave it there, at his feet.  Interesting analogy huh?  Simple yet oh so profound.  When we fail, he does not leave us there.  He will persist through discipline (out of love) until we acknowledge him and learn.  I love that he calls us to fight.

“Cowards never won heaven. Do not claim that you are begotten of God and have His royal blood running in your veins unless you can prove your lineage by this heroic spirit: to dare to be holy in spite of men and devils.” -William Gurnall

Grace amnesia

Today’s Oswald reminded me of a few things…
Romans 1:16-17 -  Do I secretly believe that everything is up to me?  I need to on his power and grace all day long.  In this passage, Paul is not saying that the gospel produces power but that it IS the power of God coming to us in verbal form.  We get access to that power.  The same power that raised Christ from the dead to rescue the souls of mankind.  We can draw on that.

It’s interesting to me that so often I think that once I am filled up, I should remain that way the next day.  To wake up, filled with the same fullness with which I went to bed.
We are vessels which need to be poured out and refilled constantly.  It is a beautiful thing that he wants us to need him.  Created us to need an intimite relationship with him.  We can be intimately bound to the heart of God (as He intended) when we go to him, drawing on that grace, constantly.  I wake up in the morning, refill immediately, arming myself with that power once again.  Only then can I walk through my day extending that same grace to the people in my lives.  Only then can I handle suffering, hard conversations, failures, etc and know that none of that is connected to my identity.  It rests in him and his wondrous grace.

“Drawing on that power” is also marveling at the miraculous nature of our salvation.  Tim Keller once said

“One of the signs that you may not grasp the unique, radical nature of the gospel is that you are certain that you do.“  I love that, as it reminds me that it is amazing that I am a Christian!  It is amazing that I am his child!  How dare I judge others when it is a sheer miracle that God wove this crazy plan and saved my sinful soul!

As I have grace amnesia quite often, let’s remind each other!  He loves that, don’t ya know?